


We Get What We Deserve

by LovelyOnism



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Gen, Jasper making bad decisions, Not Beta Read, ends happily, jasper and amethyst are related, just not the main focus of this fic, lapis/jasper history, possible future, small doses of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 11:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7889128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyOnism/pseuds/LovelyOnism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot needs friends with less drama. </p><p>Jasper meets Amethyst and seems to hate her but Amethyst doesn't know why. Jasper starts to spiral after meeting Amethyst. You have to deal with yourself or else you will never be okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Get What We Deserve

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a friend and I've decided to post it on her now. Once again warning for those that don't like jasper/lapis relationship that while they're not dating in this fic their relationship is talked about and a hint of their future together is part of the story.   
> I love Jasper and though this is kind of a torture session with things getting worse and her making bad decision, I want only happiness for this character.

Peridot knew she had few friends, namely only two. Now though there was a good chance of gaining a third and unlikely friend. Really all of her friendships seemed unlikely but this one continued the pattern. She first met Amethyst during one of the university's general courses required for all students to take. At the beginning she didn't have much of an opinion on Amethyst. Peridot had always tried her best to ignore others because when they usually took interest in her it was for all the wrong reasons. Amethyst however sat down next to her on the very first day and over the course of several weeks began to change her mind. Peridot was a bit ashamed of initial impression of her classmate but Amethyst was so much more than her laid back appearance.

It was actually way through the semester when she realized that Amethyst's struggle with the was more due to being embarrassed for asking question and not wanting to come across as an idiot. This of course led to a vicious cycle of not understanding something and more things just piling up on that and being unable to ask for help. That's when Peridot began to help her outside of class.

Now at the prospect of having a third friend was making her very happy. So happy in fact it was the only thing she was talking about lately with her roommate and second friend Lapis. They were on their way to an art opening in which Lapis had two of her pieces chosen to be placed on show. They really stood out walking down the street, Lapis with her bright blue hair and Peridot with her green hijab. It was little surprise when they were spotted by Amethyst.

“Hey, Peri!” shouted Amethyst from across the streets.

The two stopped as they watched Amethyst brazenly cross the street despite the passing cars. She had what looked like a torta in her hands.

“Amethyst, it’s so nice meeting you here,” Peridot greeted happily. 

“Yeah what a coincidence,” said Lapis with a look toward Peridot.

Amethyst raised an eyebrow, not understanding what Lapis was referencing. Peridot gave a nervous chuckle before introducing the two to each other.

“Lapis and I are on our way to an art exhibit, she got two pieces chosen,” she said very proudly.

Amethyst raised her eyebrows.

“Wow, congrats,” she said.

“Thank you,” said Lapis politely.

“Why don’t you come with us?” asked Peridot.

Amethyst shrugged her shoulders.

“Sure, Pearl is practicing her fencing and Garnet’s visiting her parents.”

Taking a bite out of her torta Amethyst began walking with the roommates, the truth was she was banned from watching Pearl practice after ‘too many outbursts’. She was just trying to cheer on her friend. So going to Peridot’s roommate’s art exhibit was a good way to kill time.

The building they went to wasn’t very large but it did seem fancy. Peridot was going on and on about how Lapis was the only student from their school to have two pieces chosen. Amethyst wasn’t allowed to bring food into the building despite food being provided inside so she was very distraught when she was forced to throw away over half of her torta.

Lapis lead them to where her pieces where displayed. One was a pile of dirt with a leaf on top and the other was an old television with a single clip repeating itself. Amethyst didn’t get how it was art but it seemed to be gaining some attention from others. Peridot and Amethyst had to be separated from Lapis as she had to talk to ‘interested’ parties. They began to look at the other pieces on display, making jokes at what the art work reminded them of.

During one of their giggling fits, trying not to cause a scene, Peridot became distracted as someone came up to them.Amethyst was taken aback with just how big and tall she was, she might be a bit taller than Garnet!

Oh hey Jasper,” greeted Peridot.

She knew that Jasper would probably come because of Lapis.Though she understood that they were in one of their lulls where they weren't talking to one another. It was a little hard when your first and second friend where just choosing to ignore each other. Ever since Lapis met Jasper they seemed to be going in circles. Their longest time spent together was when they first met, even disappearing together for almost a week. Then they came back and stopped talking to each other. After awhile they began to speak together and right when Peridot thought they would finally start dating they stopped talking again. Peridot wondered how long the good times would last before they stopped speaking again. 

“Where’s Lapis?” Jasper asked while looking around.

“She’s talking to people interested in her work.”

Jasper nodded with a small grin.

“Yeah, she was the only one who got two pieces into this place. Of course her talent would be noticed.”

Peridot nodded in agreement. Then Jasper narrowed her eyes as she took notice of Amethyst.

“Who are you?” Jasper asked not too nicely.

Peridot turned to introduce Amethyst.

“Amethyst this is my friend Jasper; Jasper this is Amethyst.”

“Hey,” said Amethyst trying to be friendly despite the look Jasper was giving her.

“Why are you here?” questioned Japer.

Peridot answered instead.

“I invited her, Lapis and I ran into Amethyst on the way over.”

Jasper stared at Amethyst before walking away without another word.

“Okay… what the hell was that?” asked Amethyst.

Peridot frowned, sure there were times when Jasper didn’t like people but this was weird.

“I don’t know to be honest. Sorry about that.”

Amethyst tried to act like it didn't bother her but it really did bug her. Jasper didn't even know her and she acted like Amethyst shouldn't even exist, like she wasn't worth even being polite to. She didn't say or do anything to be treated this way. Jasper just decided to hate her at first sight.

By the time they met back up with Lapis, Peridot realized that Jasper had left. She was shocked that Jasper didn’t even say hello to Lapis before taking off. It wasn’t until much later when the exhibit was closing and Amethyst had left did Peridot ask Lapis about Jasper.

“Did you see her?” asked Peridot.

“I thought I spotted her earlier. She’s pretty hard to miss.”

“She didn’t say anything to you, did she?”

“Like what?”

“She was acting weird when I introduced her to Amethyst. So I thought if you talked to her you might know what was up.”

Lapis was silent for a moment as they walked back to their dorm together.

“We haven’t talked for awhile.”

Peridot tried her best to not talk to either of her friends about the other when they were in their no talking period but this was honestly ridiculous. They needed to decide if they were going to be together or not. It would be a lot healthier for both of them to stick to some sort of plan.

When they got back to their dorm, Peridot got a call from Jasper.

“Where did you disappear to?” she asked after going into the bathroom for Lapis no to hear.

“How much do you know about Amethyst?” asked Jasper ignoring Peridot’s question. 

“Not a lot. She comes from a nice family and shares a place with two other people. We’ve only recently been hanging out. Why?”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait Jasper-“ Peridot tried to ask another question before Jasper hung up on her.

Letting out a long sigh before leaving the bathroom she wondered what the hell was going on with her friend. Noticing Lapis giving a strange look to her cell phone she asked her what was wrong.

“It’s nothing,” Lapis responded quickly, putting her phone out of sight.

Peridot was a bit too tired to try to get it out of Lapis what was actually happening and thought if she wanted to talk then she will, eventually. Once Peridot went to bed, Lapis looked back down at her phone. There was a message on it from Jasper reading **Congratulations. You deserve it.**

* * *

 

Amethyst was doing her best trying not to dwell on her meeting with Jasper. It wasn't like she sought the approval of everyone she ever met. It's just that usually took sometime and an actual conversation to take place before someone decided that they didn't like her. It was just really bugging her. 

"What's wrong?" asked Pearl once she got back to their place.

Amethyst had laid out an assortment of eggs and was putting them through the garbage disposal one by one.

“It’s nothing,” she replied.

“What did you do today?” Pearl asked instead, trying to see if she could peace it together.

“Went to an art exhibit.”

“Really?” said Pearl a bit surprised.

“Yeah, ran into Peridot and her roommate Lapis. She had some art chosen, apparently it’s a really big thing because she got two pieces chosen unlike everyone else.”

“Does Lapis have blue hair?”

“Yeah, do you know her”

“I’ve seen her around, the theater is right next to the art building.”

Pearl was putting up some of her fencing gear hoping that Amethyst would continue talking but she didn’t. Instead Amethyst continued throwing away the eggs.

“You know,” started Pearl again, “I have a break until the next play and Garnet will be getting back in the morning. How about the three of us go out to the movies or something. Maybe we can see the art exhibit?”

Pearl watched Amethyst carefully but there wasn’t a change in her expression.

“Sure, whatever.”

“Why don’t we watch one of those movies you like? The vampire ones?”

Amethyst turned to face her, momentarily stopping the destruction of what remained of the eggs.

“You hate those movies.”

“I don’t hate them, it just seems a bit illogical at times but we can pop some of that extra buttery popcorn and watch them.”

Amethyst looked torn for a moment, deciding whether or not she wanted to stop her quest to finish off the eggs.

“Okay but we’re watching at least two of them.”

Pearl smiled.

“That’s fine with me.”

Hopefully when Garnet returned they’d learned what was bothering Amethyst.

* * *

 

Jasper was lying in bed trying her best to calm down but ultimately failing. Her call to Peridot was only convincing her more of what she knew was true. Amethyst didn't seem to recognize her though. Really why would she? It had been years since they last seen each other, but Jasper never forgot.

When she saw Amethyst she was caught off guard. It was so unexpected and now she ran out of the exhibit without even speaking to Lapis. The tet she sent would be met with no reply. She had done her best to stay away from Lapis these last couple of weeks. They were unfortunately back to avoiding each other. Lapis needed some time to focus on her art and Jasper decided to focus on her studies instead of trying to contact her again. Now when she thought they might begin talking again, it had to be ruined because of Amethyst.

Why did Amethyst have to show up now at all times?

It was bringing all those thoughts and memories back to the forefront of her mind. Things she wanted to bury in her past but couldn't let go. Hopefully she wouldn't meet her again, it would be better for the both of them.

* * *

 

Peridot thought that things had gone back to normal, at least if you completely ignored the Amethyst/Jasper incident. Neither of them spoke about it and things continued to go on as if they never met each other. This didn’t last long though. While Jasper had refrained from asking any questions the next couple of times they hung out, she could no longer hold back her curiosity.

“What kind of person is Amethyst?”

Peridot gave her a look before frowning.

“Why are you so interested in her?”

Jasper fiddled with the cup in front of her.

“She’s your new friend right? I was wondering what kind of person caught your attention.”

“So what? If you don’t think she’s any good for me you’ll beat her up?” 

“If she’s your friend she can’t be bad.”

Peridot wasn’t stupid but maybe Jasper would stop being weird if she knew more about Amethyst.

“She’s really nice. I didn’t really like her at first but she’s a completely different person than what I first thought.”

Jasper raised an eyebrow.

“What is she majoring in?”

“She doesn’t have one yet, she’s been taking a lot of different classes but hasn’t decided on anything.”

“She must think she can get all the classes done before graduating.”

Peridot shrugged her shoulders.

“Her family is pretty rich and are supporting her. Even if it takes a couple of extra years I think they can cover it.”

“Wow, that’s pretty generous.”

“She’s not snobby though!” Peridot rushed to say, not wanting to give Jasper the wrong idea about Amethyst.

“Is your tutoring helping her pass the class?”

“I think I can definitely get her a C+ if not a B. There’s just a lot to make up for and I told her to ask the professor if there’s any extra credit she can do. Her grade was in pretty bad shape before I realized what was happening.”

“They’ll make you a saint.”

Peridot laughed.

“You know I’m not Christian right, she said pointing to her hijab.”

They spent the rest of their lunch very pleasantly.

* * *

 

Jasper found that her thoughts were being slowly consumed with thoughts about Amethyst. She tried her best to find everything she could learn about her without raising too much suspicion. Though she was pretty sure Peridot saw through her questions. She had tried not to ask her directly because she didn't want anyone to know why she was so curious about her.

Unfortunately for Jasper, the more she learned about Amethyst the more upset she became. Amethyst had a nice wealthy family, she was given the best education and had no pressure for maintaining money. Yet she was floating around purposeless, squandering away all her potential and opportunities given to her. They were nothing alike. What was wrong with her.

The universe always never allowed for two people trying to avoid each other, to get away with avoiding each other. So came to be that when Jasper was waking with Peridot that they ran into Amethyst and her friends.

“Hey Amethyst,” Peridot greeted ,”aren’t you supposed to be taking a test right now?”

“Yeah but I’m gonna fail the class anyways so why put myself through the trouble.”

Jasper snorted at Amethyst's nonchalance, of course she wouldn't care. Then without even realizing she spoke outloud.

"Yeah why would a failure try to change their ways."

Amethyst furrowed her brows.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Is it really so hard to understand? People who are failures will continue to fail, so why try?"

“You don’t even know me,” Amethyst growled.

“I do actually, just look at you. You’re an open book. All talk but no substance.”

“You think you’re just so much better than me don’t you?”

Jasper gave a quick burst of laughter.

“I am better than you. Unlike you I’ve made something of myself and I wasn’t given anything on a silver platter.”

“Jasper!” shouted Peridot trying to stop the situation from escalating.

“I think you should apologize,” said Pearl stepping in front of Amethyst.

“For what? Being right,” said Jasper.

Amethyst pulled Pearl to the side.

“What’s your problem? I’ve never done anything to you and yet you hate me.”

“My problem is that someone like you doesn’t get what they are. A defect, even with everything going for you, you just can’t make something of yourself.”

“That’s enough,” said Garnet. “You clearly have some issues so why don’t you apologize to Amethyst right now.”

“I already said I wasn’t going to apologize.”

Peridot went closer to Jasper.

“What are you doing?” she hissed.

“Stay out of it,” said Jasper.

“Not when you’re acting like a complete asshole.”

Jasper couldn't seem to stop herself, all the thoughts that had been burning inside her were spilling forth and attacking Amethyst. She knew who Garnet was, part of the school's boxing team and was no push over. Deciding it was best to leave before she said anything else, she turned away.

“You can’t just leave!” yelled Amethyst.

“Try and stop me,” she yelled back.

Garnet began to follow her insisting she apologize. Jasper turned around and threw the first punch, hitting Garnet square in the face. Garnet staggered a few steps back before wiping her face. Then they really started going at it. Garnet’s skill was really incredible, not only was she keeping up with Jasper’s hits but she was also starting to win.

When she finally hit the ground, she knew she had lost but still wouldn’t say she was sorry. Even with Garnet towering over her, the only reason they stopped was when they heard campus security heading straight towards them. That’s when they all ran off before they could get caught.

Two days had passed since the argument. Jasper hadn't tried to contact Peridot and Peridot hand't tried to contact her either. Jasper was hard enough to get along with and now the two people she cared for weren't on speaking terms with her. She understood that she deserved it. After all, who wants to be friends with someone like her. Japser looked down at her mismatched hands. She could remember the first moment that she noticed the patch of skin on her hand that was pale. It was clear that she had vitiligo at a young age. It had been a source of constant bullying.

When she was placed in a foster home the cruelty not alone came from the other children but of the adults as well. She could still hear their jeers about how she was defective and that's why no one wanted her. That her defection was clear as the white pigment on her face.

Jasper started taking deep breaths. She was passed it, she was different now. She didn't need parents, it didn't matter they they didn't pick her. Jasper was able to rise above that place she was raised in. She wasn't like the other kids who were left behind. She was better, She was going to make something of herself.

People always stared and if they didn't then they laughed. Peridot never laughed though. Peridot who thought everyone had a place and purpose, who she treated poorly. She was much kinder to Jasper than she deserved.

They went to high school together and it wasn't until a weird twist of fate did they end up being friends. Jasper had saved Peridot from a harsher instance of bullying and instead of beating up the other students but merely told them that because they didn't have a purpose in their lives didn't mean that they should bother someone who did. Peridot who had first thought Jasper was more of a brute because of the rumors she fought with the notorious gang 'The Rubies", began to sit with her at lunch and despite Jasper not being particularly inviting she didn’t discourage Peridot either. But now, why would Peridot want to associate with her, once everything came to light.

Jasper had skipped going to her classes, something she never did. At first she had reasoned to herself that it was to not let her teacher see the bruises from the fight but that was just an excuse.

They would see her for what she was trying so hard not to be. Everything was just falling apart.

This whole thing was really messing her up.

* * *

 

Peridot was meeting with Amethyst. She had felt so bad about how Jasper had treated her but didn’t know what to do. They weren’t speaking to each other and from what she gathered Jasper hadn’t shown up to any of her classes recently.

“Why does Jasper hate me?” were the first words out of Amethyst’s mouth.

“I have no idea. Jasper has disliked people before but never like this.”

“Great so I’m special.”

Peridot grimaced. She didn't know if talking would help the situation at all. Amethyst however wasn't going to let it go. She was going to figure out what Jasper's problem was and have it out with her.

"I'm sorry about what Jasper's done. Jasper she's had it rough but what she said was completely uncalled for."

Amethyst frowned.

"What do you mean she's had it rough?"

Peridot was silent a moment. Debating whether or not it was right to talk about Jasper and if would even give a good answer for Amethyst.

"I've known Jasper since High School. She was placed in a foster home when she was young and never got adopted. So once she was eighteen she was completely on her own, not like she got much help before that. You've seen her, there's always been people who have picked on her because of her vitiligo or because she was in foster home. She was always treated like shit, though they stopped saying shit to her face because she could break them in half if they so much breathed wrong in her direction."

Now it was Amethyst's turn to be silent a moment. She was once placed in foster care before she was adopted but it wasn't for long and didn't remember anything about it. She loved her parents, but having no parents didn't mean that Jasper had the right to treat her like crap. If she was merely envious of her she would still think that it didn't call for Jasper to _hate_ her.

“Does she hate me because of my family? I can’t help that they adopted me.”

Peridot sighed.

“Until recently I would say that Jasper wasn’t like that and maybe if she had just argued with Lapis again then maybe that’s what put her in a bad mood but they haven’t talked to each other in a while.”

“Lapis? What does she have to do with anything?”

Peridot bit the inside of her cheek. It wasn’t really her place to talk about Jasper and Lapis’ relationship.

“They kind of have a thing for each other but it never lasts. Every time I think they’ll be serious they have a fight and don’t talk to each other.”

“But why?”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I have no idea.”

So if Peridot couldn’t tell her what was wrong with Jasper than maybe Lapis could.

* * *

 

It took awhile to find a good time to meet with Lapis. If she wasn’t in class she was working on her art for hours. So Amethyst would wait until a ‘reasonable’ hour outside the building hoping to talk with Lapis. It took three days before she could talk with her. Pearl and Garnet were worried about her obsessing over Jasper. She had spent the last several days not only waiting for Lapis but finding out everything she could about Jasper. She seemed to be perfect. She was tall, strong, beautiful, and smart. Everything Amethyst was not.

So why did she hate her so much?

“Hey Lapis, can I buy you a late dinner,” she said while catching her leaving the art building.

Lapis gave her a suspicious look before saying no.

“Please, I need to talk to you,” she continued keeping pace with Lapis.

“It’s late Amethyst and I’ve spent most of my day calling junkyards.”

Amethyst wanted to ask her about that but needed to focus on her main goal.

“I’m begging you, it’s about Jasper.”

Lapis stopped walking, Amethyst didn’t know if mentioning Jasper helped or worsened her situation.

“What about her?”

“I don’t know what her problem is but she hates me and I want to know why.”

“She hates you?”

Lapis was a bit confused. She knew Jasper and she had never known of someone she truly hated. There was always plenty of people she disliked but never hated.

“Yeah and I was hoping you could tell me why.”

Lapis pinched the arch of her nose. Why would Peridot’s friend ask her. She hadn’t spoken to Jasper in weeks. The last time communicated was just with the one text she got from her. Looking Amethyst up and down she thought they they had the same serious expression. 

"I don't know why she would hate you. I don't really know you to day anything but Jasper... she's got some things to work through."

"Yeah Peridot told me that she was in a foster home and bullied-"

"You don't get it," said Lapis cutting her off. "You come from a nice home right? People that love and encourage you and forgive you when you do something wrong? To belittle what she's gone through is just... there are somethings in life that just really mess you up. I'm not trying to tell you that the way she treated you is okay. We are responsible for what we do but I don't think I can help you."

Lapis walked away leaving Amethyst alone. It was clear to her thought that Lapis still very much cared for Jasper. She wondered what happened between them for them to treat each other the way they do. But she wasn't sure she was any closer to understanding why Jasper hated her. Even if Jasper didn't have a nice home and thought Amethyst had it great, didn't mean it was true. Amethyst had nice things but there were times she didn't feel like she was adequate for the life she had. She wanted to make her parents proud, she wanted to be a good friend. They were all born into the nice life, and sometimes Amethyst thought she would never live up to it.

* * *

 

Peridot was getting a bit worried after not receiving a message from Lapis. It was getting pretty late and her roommate always let her know when she was headed back to their dorm. Then there was a knock at the door. She rushed over to open it.

“Hey Lapis, you were beginning to scare…” Peridot trailed off as she saw Jasper in the doorway instead of Lapis.

“Can I talk with you?” asked Jasper.

Peridot hesitated, not sure if she should let her in or not. Ultimately relenting and allowing her inside. The bruises were almost all but gone.

“What’s been going on?” asked Peridot. “We’re friends aren’t we? If there’s something wrong, you can talk to me.”

Jasper paced back and forth, not speaking and making Peridot feel very uneasy. Something was clearly off, off in a big way. Jasper had hesitated coming over but she needed to leave her place and maybe talking to Peridot would somehow make things better.

"There's just so much and it's messed me up. Making me think of things I've left behind. I'm not stuck in that place anymore and yet when I look at her..."

“What are you talking about.”

Jasper looked to Peridot, grabbing her shoulders.

“You can’t tell anyone, swear it.”

“What?”

“Swear it!”

“Okay okay,” Peridot said trying to calm her down.

Japser let her go as she turned away, unable to look to Peridot as she admitted it out loud.

“Amethyst is my sister.”

“WHAT?” yelled Peridot. “How?”

“Well half sisters anyway. She doesn’t remember but I do. We had the same mom but right around the time they took her away Amethyst was just two years old. You know she was barely going to be 6 before she was adopted. Before they picked her.” 

Peridot’s head was reeling with this fact. But now that she really thought about it, they did look similar. But now little things were starting to make sense. Now reuniting with her sister all these years later just to learn she’s been living the high life while Jasper had to fight for everything in her own life.

“If she’s your sister then why have you been acting so mean towards her?”

"When I first met her I didn't know what to do and once I realized she didn't recognize me at all everything began to get worse. I had to know more about her and once I knew it all it was... she had everything Peridot. She was given every opportunity and help possible but she's done nothing with it. She's wasting it."

"Jasper you're wrong about her. Amethyst isn't wasting-"

"Don't try to say otherwise. Just look at her actions, they speak for themselves. She doesn't care." Jasper ran her hands angrily through her hair. "Just everytime I see her I can't help how angry I get. Then I start saying those things."

"I think if you actually talk to her then you'll see that she's not a bad person. She doesn't deserve this. You shouldn't be angry at her."

Jasper suddenly started for the door. Peridot tried to stop her but Jasper wouldn’t hear it. She wanted to help her. There was definitely something else bothering her with the whole Amethyst thing but there was nothing she could say that seemed to help.

Lapis showed up a few minutes later.

“Did I see Jasper leaving our building?”

Peridot opened her mouth to say something but in the end closed it. She didn’t know what to even tell Lapis about the whole ordeal.

* * *

 

Amethyst decided if words weren’t going to help then fists would. She was going to have it out with Jasper once and for all. She was able to leave a note for her in one of her classes, asking the teacher to give it to her. If Jasper was the mean rude person she thought she was then she wouldn’t turn down her challenge.

She of course didn’t tell Pearl or Garnet about the upcoming fight. They were doing their best to make her let it go but failing.

They were going to meet at an abandoned parking lot. Some place far enough from the University so that there were no witnesses. Amethyst was waiting almost half an hour before Jasper showed up.

“You finally made it.”

Jasper looked... off. Her appearance was slightly disheveled and she looked a bit tired, still her brows were drawn tight as she looked at Amethyst.

“Needless to say I was surprised when I got your little message.”

“It’s just you and me now Jasper.”

Jasper gave a humorless chuckle.

“Are you really trying to fight me?”

“You know I tried really hard to understand why you hate me but I don’t think there really is a reason. You’re just mad because I have parents who love me and took care of me.”

Jasper was grinding her teeth with every word coming out of Amethyst’s mouth.

“You’re a waste of my time, I’m leaving.”

“You say I’m the failure? Then what are you? You’re just running away. If you’re supposed to be so great then prove it.” Jasper stopped walking. “I think you’re the one who is trying so hard to not let others see that you’re the one who doesn’t have a place!”

Amethyst let her anger get the best of her, but she wanted Jasper to fight. She would say anything to keep her here.

Sure enough Jasper turned around heading straight for her.

“You asked for it,” Jasper growled.

Amethyst was waiting for it but she wasn’t prepared for how strong Jasper really was.

If Jasper was being honest, Amethyst wasn’t terrible at fighting. It was just unfortunate for her that she chose to fight Jasper who was in another league all together.

“You know we’re nothing alike,” said Jasper after knocking Amethyst down. 

"Why would I ever want to be like you? I'm better than you."

She tried to hit Jasper again but missed, instead being kneed in her stomach.

"You know in this life we get what we deserve, so if you're suffering then it's because you deserve to suffer!"

Amethyst was having some trouble standing on her own.

"You're wrong," she groaned. "I don't deserve this, not from you. I deserve better."

Jasper's fists tightened. Amethyst was wrong, she didn't deserve better. They both came from the same place and yet..

Before Jasper could land another hit, Pearl's voice rang across the parking lot.

“Get off of her!” she yelled.

“Great, your friends arrived.”

“What are you doing?” yelled Peridot.

Jasper was surprised to see her, how did they know where to find them.

“This has nothing to do with any of you. Amethyst was the one who called me here.”

Peridot looked horrified at what Jasper had done. Garnet and Pearl rushed to her side as Jasper stepped away from her.

“So you let her have it? Look at her, you beat up your own sister!” 

As soon as the words came out of Peridot's mouth she regretted it.

Everyone turned to Jasper shocked.

“Sister?” mumbled Amethyst.

Jasper looked at Peridot, betrayal and shame clear in her eyes before she ran off.

Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet looked to Peridot. She didn’t even know where to begin.

* * *

 

Amethyst went to the hospital but claimed it was an accident. While Jasper really laid into her there were no broken bones, only lots of bruising. Her parents called her worried and she reassured them that she was okay. There was nothing to worry.

Except that was a lie. Jasper now preoccupied her thought for a different reason. Amethyst didn’t even remember having an older sister. She didn’t really remember much about her life before being adopted. But Jasper knew and recognized her. Why didn’t she say anything?

How would she feel if her sister had been chosen to be adopted and not her?

When she asked Peridot about Jasper, all she said was that she had gone missing. No one knew where she had gone.

Once she was released from the hospital she tried going to Jasper’s room to see if she had returned. But there was nothing. None of her teachers or classmates have heard from her. Peridot said she hadn’t heard anything still either.

So Amethyst went back to Lapis again.

“Jasper hasn’t contacted me,” said Lapis.

“But you know her. When you really like and care for someone then they learn all sorts of things about them. Things that even their friends might not know. So I think you might know where Jasper’s gone to.”

Lapis ran her hand through her hair in frustration.

“Jasper sometimes disappears after we fight. It usually lasts a week but with this it’s different. She’s always had to prove herself. To show she’s able to be fine on her own. That she can’t rely on anyone because she never could. That foster home was a nightmare and she’s done everything in her power to show that she is better than that place.”

So Jasper was the one who felt like she didn't deserve better because of where she came from. Amethyst understood that, even if she was adopted she wasn't born into that life. So when she failed to live up to the expectations it just made everything worse because she got angrier at herself.

She often felt like there was something wrong with her, despite the love she was given, despite the life she was given. Not always fitting in to the lifestyle and expectations of others. When she was younger the other kids picked on her more because she was adopted.

Then an idea hit her.

“Do you know where that foster home was?”

Jasper had really done it this time. When she was younger, it didn't take much to get her to fight. Every little word from the other kids was just the beginning of her many years stuck at the home. In high school she tried to fight less because how were you supposed to get to a good school if you had a juvie record.

Her reputation at least followed her and if not for the Ruby gang there wasn’t much fighting actually happening.

This time though, Amethyst had gotten to her. What the fuck was wrong with her that she beat the shit out of her own sister. She was out of control and now she didn’t know what to do. She had turned off her phone, not wanting to talk to Peridot or Amethyst, too ashamed at what she had done. But now, she had gone running back to the place she swore she would never come back to. The family that use to own the home were gone. Moved to who knows where.

She tried not to come to the house. Staying in her car instead of a motel but in the end she gave in. This place ruined everything. The other foster kids, most ended up dropping out or getting hooked on drugs, disappearing to who knows where. Not her though. This place didn’t ruin her.

And yet she was back in the city, driving to the house. It was empty and in disrepair. The grass was mostly dead with more dirt than grass really. A 'For Sale' sign in the front yard.

What was she supposed to do now?

She fell to her knees hands digging into the dirt as the memories were overwhelming her. SHe needed to leave, she needed to get away. She had gotten away but still she came back. When Amethyst was adopted it wasn't very hard to understand why. Younger kids usually were and Jasper was already 8. She often thought of where her sister ended up. If she was living a happy life. Those thoughts soon turned in on itself. Thinking about why she wasn’t picked either. What was wrong with her? Maybe they saw in her what her mother saw. Maybe they could see that she was more than just from a broken family, that she was broken inside too and that was unfixable.

Her parent's left, Amethyst left, even Lapis left. Why did the people she love never stay?

Her vision began to blur as she felt tears fill her eyes. She tried to hold back the tears.

“So you are here,” said Amethyst.

Jasper whipped around, completely surprised at her appearance.

“Wha- how did you find me?”

“I think you and I have a lot more in common than we were willing to admit.” Amethyst saw Jasper staring at the bruises. “It looks worse than it is.”

Jasper gritted her teeth and looked away.

“So you’re okay.”

Amethyst looked at the dilapidated house in front of them. This was where Jasper was raised, where she had been before being adopted. 

"This place isn't you."

Jasper's eyes widened.

"What?"

"You hate this place but you came back to it because you feel trapped. This place didn't make you no matter what you think. What you were saying before, I sometimes think that too and when I do I have to be snapped out of it. I don’t know why my parent’s didn’t choose you but we’re so much more than where we come from.”

Jasper stood up, turning to face Amethyst straight on.

“Shut up, you don’t understand! You had everything in your favor but you just don’t care! You act like it’s nothing to you and I had to fight for every last thing. Fighting is my life and I can never stop because if I do then I’ll just sink back to the bottom. Alone.”

Amethyst got closer.

“Look where you are! You’re here because you decided to be here, no one made you. Jasper you don’t deserve to be here.”

Jasper was fighting back the tears and anger. She had memories of days people told her she deserved to be at the foster home, she deserved to be abandoned, that she suffered because it was what she deserved. After hearing it for so long, it was the only thing that made sense.

“You’re not alone, Peridot and Lapis are worried about you. I'm here too now!”

Peridot and Lapis, what would they think if they saw her now? She was so tired of being angry.

After a long stretch of silence she finally spoke.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” said Jasper.

Amethyst offered her hand.

“Let’s get out of here, sis.”

Jasper began to reach for it before hesitating. She didn't deserve help from Amethyst, not after what she had put her through.

Amethyst took Jasper's hand instead, looking up at her and giving a small smile. She grasped her hand tightly, not willing to let go until Jasper would leave.

Once Jasper took the first step forward they began to move away from the abandoned building. She held on tightly to Amethyst afraid that if she were to let go she would stop from leaving.

“I’m sorry, for hurting you.”

“Don’t siblings usually fight?”

“I don’t think like this.”

“Also we need to take your car, I took a bus and a taxi to get here.”

Jasper gave a small smile. Getting into the car things seemed to be getting a little bit better. Amethyst was relieved that she could save Jasper from the downward spiral she was going through. When they glanced at each other, they both shared a look. Just as the light turned green, Jasper was going to speak to her before another car came ramming into them.

* * *

 

The hit was on the driver’s side. Once again Amethyst was safe from any serious harm besides a concussion and some more bruising. Jasper on the other hand had taken it hard and was still unconscious. If Jasper could talk she would say that this was probably the universe getting back at her for beating up her younger sister.

Amethyst got her parents to cover Jasper’s medical bills, they were very generous people and any friend of Amethyst deserved their help.

It was Lapis who took the longest to come visit her in the hospital. She didn’t want to come in a group and wondered if it would be awkward to come at all since they hadn’t been talking. In the end though she couldn’t stay away. The nurses told her it was okay to see her but that Jasper would most like be asleep. All the better.

Seeing Jasper lying in the hospital bed made her pause. She couldn’t imagine if things had been worse. Going to the side of the bed she looked at Jasper’s sleeping face.

“You had me worried sick you know,” she began knowing full well she wasn’t going to get a reply. “I know that we hadn’t talked and I know you came to the exhibit. But I want you to know that no matter what happens between us, you can always call. If things get so bad you can talk to me.”

Lapis began to feel herself tear up.

“What would have happened if it was worse! I hate it when you disappear because I never know if you’ll come back and I don’t want… what if you didn’t come back this time?”

Lapis held onto her Jasper’s hand.

“You’re asleep but you need to tell you that I’m here, Okay? So you better not think about doing any other stupid things or so help me.”

Jasper’s hand twitched and Lapis wondered if she really could hear her.

When Peridot and Amethyst came by again they decided not to enter the room once they saw Lapis sleeping in a chair that was pulled next to Jasper’s bed. They were holding hands.

* * *

Once Jasper was released from the hospital there was a lot of work to catch up on and a lot of things to work out so that she could still pass her classes for the semester. She had been meeting up with Amethyst a couple times a week and now with Thanksgiving around the corner, she was scared that she might be invited to her house. They had been talking a lot more but Jasper was not ready to meet Amethyst’s parents.

Today though they were all meeting up to go to the movies.

She got there first unsurprisingly, Amethyst’s clock ran slower than other people. Jasper was surprised when she saw that Amethyst wasn’t alone, having shown up with Lapis, Peridot and Pearl.

“I thought it was going to be just the two of us,” said Jasper.

“Well the more the merrier, right?”

Jasper felt that Amethyst was hiding something but went along with it. It wasn’t until they were sitting down did she realize that Amethyst had arranged it for her to sit next Lapis while Amethyst sat in-between Pearl and Peridot.

Jasper mouthed to her asking what she was doing. Amethyst replied by giving her a thumbs up.

Amethyst thought that the one way she could really help make Jasper happy was by helping her with Lapis. They clearly still liked each other and all they needed was a little nudge. Jasper had spoken a little bit about her relationship with Lapis but was holding out on her what had really been going on between them.

So now Amethyst had made it her mission to help Jasper with Lapis. After all what were sister’s for?

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably become a series of oneshots for this AU. If you liked it then leave a kudo or a comment if you feel so inclined.


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